He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
