he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
