I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
