sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
