now i know why i became what i already was.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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