what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
