Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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