I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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