everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
