I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize