Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
