Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
