I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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