Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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