so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize