I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
