He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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