i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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