If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
