Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
