Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So much rum. So many feels.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
