I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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