and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
