i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
this boner is exhausting
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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