i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
