fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
