I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize