3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
