theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
