I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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