I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize