Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
