I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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