your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Small penises have feelings too.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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