your thong is hanging out like whoa
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
