Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My penis needs a shock collar
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
