the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
