it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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