walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Is it penis luge time yet?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
