either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
