the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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