I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
