There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize