yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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