I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
