You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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