I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize