Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
