I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She announced her abortion via fbk
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
