just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
