Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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