Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
