he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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