Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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