Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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