my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
