what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
