My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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