Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
