Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
