i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
