Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
