$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
