How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
