i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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