Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
