This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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